Love And Death In The Light Of The Moon
by Areie
Summary: The story of how Lucian and Sonja fell in love and began the war. Rating for language only. From both his and her points of view. Sorry about awful title heh.8th chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story about Lucian and Sonja, and how they met and fell in love. It ties in to the continuity of my other Underworld stories, but if you've not read them, it won't matter. I don't own anything apart from my own plotline and characters. Please please _please _review! The more reviews, the faster I'll update. So review, to say you like it, orcomplain about grammar, or give constructive criticism, but flamers will be left to Viktor's mercy (or lack of...)**

* * *

A man stands silhouetted against a vivid crimson sunset. He's not small, but compact, with long dark hair framing a pale face and intense, wide dark green eyes. His jeans are less than clean, but like the most sumptuous finery compared to what he has worn in his time.

This is Lucian, ruthless leader of the Lycans, sworn to wage an immortal war on the vampires. A strategist, a warrior. And once...a lover.

A girl comes up behind him. She looks about nineteen. In reality she's close on four hundred. She's a Lycan, one of the few blondes of her kind, and very pretty. Her name is Callista.

"Hello, Lucian." Callista practically purrs it.

He doesn't turn. "Callista."

Callista seems to take this as an invitation to come closer. Like a cat stalking her prey, she pads up silently until she is whispering in his ear. "It's late, Lucian," she whispers huskily, and her fingers slowly creep up his arm. "I'm tired…"

Lucian's voice is cold as ice and hard as steel. "Don't touch me."

She ignores him, coming closer, her hand sliding up to his neck. "Are you tired?" she whispers, lips almost brushing his ear. "Let's go…"

He spins around, grabbing her wrist in an iron grip and wrenching it off his neck. His eyes meet hers and they blaze. In a voice of barely contained rage, he snarls, "I said - "

She breaks away, unable to face his furious gaze, and beats a retreat so hasty she is all but running. Lucian doesn't watch her go. He's shaking, rubbing his hand up his arm. His skin seems to burn wherever Callista touched him. All his reserve, his self-control, the perfectly constructed façade he wears to face his pack has crumbled in an instant and the pent-up emotions he has held inside for seven hundred years break free.

The great Lycan leader sinks down to the floor and rests his head on his knees, tears trickling down his cheeks. His fingers find a gold pendant hanging on a gold chain round his neck, incongruous next to his scruffy clothing, and he brings it reverently to his lips. "Sonja, oh Sonja…my poor sweet Sonja…" His eyes glisten with tears as he watches the crimson sunset. "So long ago, but I don't forget. I don't forget you or any of it, my love." On his pale cheek his tears shine red as the blood from the wounds on his back.

"I don't forgive. And I don't forget."

**

* * *

Around seven centuries earlier**

**Below the Vampire fortress**

"It hurts, Serena," Araiden moaned.

His sister rolled her eyes, but not without sympathy. "Well, it will, Raid."

A voice from behind them said dryly, "Look on the bright side. Could have been a whipping."

Serena sighed and looked heavenward. "Shut up, Lucian. You're not helping."

This is an ordinary family of Lycan slaves. Or rather ordinary for now. Serena, tall, green-eyed and sarcastic, with tangled light brown hair falling all over her face and shoulders. Her little brother Araiden, lanky and big for his age, his darker brown hair jagged and cut to about shoulder length. Serena's mate Kieron, hooded eyes surveying all he saw with caustic humour, bright auburn hair appearing dark brownish red in the gloom and the dirt. And Lucian, Serena and Araiden's orphaned cousin and adoptive brother, by far the smallest in the family, but strong and intelligent.

Araiden was lying on his front on the floor, shirtless, his back a mass of livid bruises spreading from his waist up to his shoulders. It looked like he might have a broken rib on the left hand side. It was lucky for him and many other Lycan slaves over the years that Serena was a healing woman. She was bent over him, feeling for any broken bones. Lucian was sitting in a shadowy corner of the tiny, filthy room, hugging his knees to his chest like a young child, green eyes alert. Watching with typical black humour, Kieron leant against the wall opposite Lucian.

"So just _what_ were you doing again Raid?" Kieron asked in a slightly amused voice.

Araiden groaned. "I was nicking some of those little pies from the kitchens. Ow," he yelped as Serena touched a particularly nasty bruise.

"Why," she asked in a voice layered with a sort of patient contempt, "is it that you feel you have to do these stupid things? I hope it's not to impress anyone because it does _not_ impress _me_."

"It was for Eva – ouch – you know, Lucian's friend who's pregnant?"

Kieron sniggered and raised his eyebrows at Lucian suggestively. Lucian looked very hard at his sister's mate, until Kieron started fidgeting. "Actually, Kieron, Eva lives with Dean. And anyway Raid, why did you nick those pies for Eva?"

Araiden frowned, and Serena sighed again. "You don't know, do you?" she snorted, and said, "I'm surrounded by idiots!" She looked at her brother's back again and winced. "Hey, Lucian, come have a look at this – and bring that jug of water while you're at it."

Lucian padded over with the jug, and peered at Araiden's bruises. "As I say, could have been worse, but not much from the looks of things." He shook his head in exasperation. "If you're going to steal food that's fine, but don't get caught for heaven's sake. I mean what did you expect?" Serena took the jug off him and tilted it so Araiden could drink. Her mouth twitched and she looked sideways at her adoptive brother.

"You know Lucian for all Jude thinks you're the one who'll lead the uprising against the vampires, you don't seem exactly alight with rebellious fervor," she said wryly. Jude was the oldest Lycan in the fortress and the spiritual leader of the slaves. He was truly ancient but still sharp as a knife, and he had a deep respect for Lucian, whose parents he had known well.

The younger Lycan frowned at Serena. "I'm not," he said succinctly. Across the room, Kieron spat loudly.

"Well, come on Serena," he grinned sarcastically, "The boy never gets a word in edgeways, here _or_ at the meetings, not with you around."

She looked narrowly at her mate. "He never gets a word in because he never tries," she said sternly.

"And that's 'cause he knows he won't be able to 'cause you won't let him," Kieron pointed out, and added wryly, "Sweetheart."

Serena glared. "Shut up, Kieron."

Kieron looked at Araiden and Lucian wide-eyed for once. "See what I mean?" he said. Lucian shrugged and muttered something inaudible, and Araiden just rolled his eyes. Serena could be somewhat overpowering, and her brothers no longer even bothered to try to argue or interrupt her – it was pointless. She was known to all the Lycan slaves not only for her healing skills but also for her rather authoritarian manner.

"Come on, let's have a look at that rib," Serena muttered, rolling her brother onto his side. She felt his ribcage, and nodded in resignation. "Uh-huh. You got a busted rib there, Raid. Not much for it except try 'n' rest up and keep out of the way of vampires if you can, which I doubt."

Lucian grinned to himself at Serena's last comment. It was true. Araiden was a trouble magnet.

**The Vampire fortress**

**Sonja's chambers**

"Sonja, how on earth do you manage to get your hair so tangled?"

"It's not tangled Ymogen, it's _wavy_."

"Well then riddle me this darling: why is my brush getting caught in your hair if it's not tangled? Your hair, I mean, not the brush."

"Because that's not a brush, it's a comb."

"Where I come from, sister, we call this a _brush_."

"We come from the same place, Ymmy, and I'm telling you that's a comb."

"It's perfectly fine with my hair."

"That's because _your_ hair is straight. Mine's wavy."

"No, it's tangled."

"Both of you pack it in," Winona burst out.

Winona, Ymogen and Sonja were sisters, the three daughters of Viktor and his wife Janine. The eldest, Winona, had her father's blond hair, and her mother's dark blue eyes. Sonja too had blonde hair, however her eyes were bluish grey like her father's. Everyone said how much Sonja looked like Viktor, and how Ymogen, the middle sister, looked like Janine with her sleek thick black hair, round pale face, and indigo eyes. Winona and Ymogen were tall like their father, but Sonja was more on the petite side.

At the moment, the sisters were gathered together in Sonja's chambers. Ymogen was brushing Sonja's hair, and Winona was reading on the window seat. The elaborate drapes were pulled closed against the light – dawn was coming soon.

Ymogen paid no attention to Winona and kept dragging her brush none too gently through her younger sister's hair. "Honestly Sonja, what _has_ that maid of yours been up to?" Without waiting for a reply, she continued, "Whatever it is, she's no good. Even my maid – and heaven knows she's no prize – could do better than this. It's a complete mess. Just look at that Winnie, it's awful."

Scowling, Sonja retorted, "She hasn't been _up to_ anything. And for your information Ymogen, my Roseanna is the best maid I have ever had and I wouldn't swap her for the world."

Neither Winona nor Ymogen paid their sister any attention. "Well _honestly,_" Winona tutted. "That's not good enough, is it? I mean to say, it shouldn't have to fall to a vampire to do these things should it?"

"Absolutely. It's disgraceful, absolutely disgraceful…"

"No-one is forcing you to brush my hair," Sonja said tartly. It always irritated her when her elder sisters had conversations over her head like this.

"It's perfectly fine if you happen to _enjoy_ doing her hair, and I know you do Ymmy, and I do too, but that's one thing, and actually having to get all the knots out – well that is something else entirely." Winona's eyes were narrowed and her arms crossed.

Ymogen shook her head. "I know. That's the maid's job, that's what they're there for, isn't it? But then again," she continued with a dark light in her eyes, "she's only a Lycan –" she said it like the worst possible insult, " – only an animal, so we can't expect the world now can we?"

The two older sisters exchanged contemptuous looks. Sonja felt queasy. She always felt sick when her sisters talked like this about the Lycans. Sonja knew they were just vermin slaves and as a vampire princess she needn't even think about them, but still…she couldn't help feeling they were _people. _Her maid Roseanna was nice enough, and her almost-friend.

Winona's voice cut into Sonja's reverie. "That's still no excuse. I mean to say –"

"Oh I know," Ymogen said, and her face lit up with a nasty, vindictive smile, "if you want my opinion, or if you, Sonja, want my advice, I'd get rid of her – send her back to those cellars. There is no excuse really, is there? But that's not to say –" and her smile became truly evil "– that you can't teach a Lycan a lesson with a good lashing. Or a hairbrush," she added with a smirk at Winona. The eldest of the sisters was somewhat notorious for having discharged a maid who'd failed to please in a rather spectacular way. She had hurled her hairbrush at the unfortunate slave with all her vampiric strength. The back and the handle of the brush had been marble, and rumour had it she'd fractured the unsatisfactory maid's jawbone.

Sonja felt like hitting her sister for actually joking about that. Not that this was anything terribly new to her. Sonja and Ymogen had never really seen eye to eye about…well, anything really. The way Ymogen ran hot and cold, and shamelessly manipulated people, annoyed her sister, and she also hated the way Ymogen was unnecessarily cruel and vindictive towards the Lycans. That said, Ymogen wasn't exactly enamoured with Sonja either. She thought her little sister was a spoilt brat, and an idiot.

"I'll tell you what," Winona said suddenly. "Sonja, I'll tell you what you want."

"Thanks very much," Sonja muttered sarcastically. Her sister gave her an irritated glance.

"You want another servant, you do. A _male _one."

There was a slightly choked noise from Ymogen then: "Well I've got one, and he's damn useless – " Winona murmured _language, darling, language_ and Ymogen ignored her " – but, that said, I suppose if you can get a good one – don't slump Sonja, it's awfully common – they'd be more use than those wretched maids."

Grinding her teeth, Sonja hissed, "I have told you time and again Winona, I'm fine with just my maid." Tilting her head back so that she got a good look at Ymogen, she said tartly, "And for the last time Ymogen, Roseanna – "

Snidely, Ymogen said to Winona, "Good lord, she even knows it's _name_."

"Oh, shut up! You know _your_ maid's name perfectly well, so don't come all hissy with me. And Roseanna is a wonderful maid and I wouldn't get rid of her for anything!" Sonja snapped. Ymogen's cheeks coloured slightly.

Placatingly, their sister held up her hands. "Calm down, the both of you! Ymmy, don't be so nasty about our sister." Their eyes met, and Winona's glinted. "And Sonja, I didn't mean anything by it, just that it's always useful to have another pair of hands round the place. And you must be so lonely up here, these rooms are right at the top of the tower. Don't you think?" Her voice was softer than usual, which meant she was trying to persuade her youngest sister.

Sonja thought about it. It seemed quite reasonable. "Well, I suppose so. I'll have a look round," she said mildly. Winona could be very persuasive.

* * *

**For anyone who's read my 'Huntress and Haunted' fic and is getting annoyed about how long I take to update: stick with me! Chapter 3 is in progress, but I've had a computer virus lately which messed up my files...but Chap 3 will be up I will not let you lovely people down!**


	2. Fateful Meeting

_Here is the second chapter of Love & Death. Thanks to those who read the first chapter, double thanks if you reviewed, and thanks again for reading this next chapter. Sorry about the slow updates, our computer has been plagued with viruses and I am plagued with GCSE coursework, so that is my excuse. Please read reveiw and enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing I did not invent, I claim nothing I did not invent, I know nothing and I have nothing you can have if you sue me goddammit! (Come on, I'm only 13, what would you get if you sued me...) lol Areie_

**

* * *

(The next day)**

**The Vampire fortress**

**A back corridor**

Lucian had snuck away from where he was meant to be during the day – on the Mansion walls – to try and find Helene, a first cousin of his, Serena and Araiden's. Helene was extremely clever and had excellent instincts, and one of Lucian's fellow guards had apparently heard a whisper of something from a vampire he wanted to talk to her about. The Lycan wall-guards had developed a very efficient way of talking between individuals posted far way from each other: like a strange game of Chinese whispers, the messages were passed with alarming speed all over the walls. Lucian had been asked to find Helene because he was naturally stealthy and also quite close with his first cousin.

Helene normally worked in the archives, organizing and looking after the various books and scrolls of the vampires, but since she was rarely supervised, she was more often than not devouring books at an alarming speed. At this hour, near four in the afternoon, there were few if any vampires up and about, but even so Lucian moved swiftly and quietly, keeping to the shadows until he reached the archives.

The room beyond the imposing mahogany doors was high ceilinged and vaulted, it's brushed pale marble walls paneled with dark, soft-scented wood. Sculpted stone busts and large oil paintings stared down from high above, appearing to keep every occupant of the huge room under intense and never-ceasing scrutiny. Whatever the weather outside, the archives were always freezing, or at the very least chilly. To Lucian it resembled nothing more than a vast silent tomb and for the life of him he could not understand why Helene would want to spend so many hours of her life here. Yet she did, and it was an unusual trait for her to show such lack of common sense that she preferred sitting, numb with cold, devouring the ideas of old philosophers. Helene was frighteningly intelligent, a startlingly fast reader, and possessed of an uncanny memory. She was normally to be found huddled in some corner with her arms pulled inside her shirt, a book or scroll in her lap, and muttering to herself –

"_The Divine Proportion or phi, considered the most beautiful number in Creation, being the ratio used by the Goddess to create all nature, is generally valued at one point six one eight and can be found – "_

"Helene," Lucian hissed. His first cousin started and reflexively covered the heavy book she was reading with her arm. On seeing it was Lucian she relaxed. Helene was the nearest thing the slaves had to a scholar and despite her youth it was now her responsibility to educate the pups in reading, writing, arithmetic and the history of the immortals. No-one knew what would happen if the vampires caught her studying ferociously from the archives but they all suspected it was unlikely to be good.

"Ah, it's only you Lucian," she sighed, brushing brown hair out of her green eyes and smiling in relief.

"So, what is it today?" he asked lightly. "Or do I not want to know?"

Helene's eyes sparkled. "Oh, just phi or one point six one eight, the Divine Proportion." She patted the book in her lap. "This is wonderful."

"I'm sure it is…"

She smiled wryly and said, "So what's happened?"

Her cousin deadpanned, "Who says anything's happened? Maybe I just wanna talk to my cousin. Maybe I just felt like coming down here…"

Giving her book's pages one last affectionate stroke, Helene slotted the heavy tome back onto the shelf and stood up to face Lucian. "Come off it. I _know_ you hate this place. I _know_ it scares you, and I _know _you only come down here for a _reason_. Not just for a friendly chat about phi."

The playful light in Lucian's eyes vanished and he said, "Dane overheard the vampires talking about something he wanted to tell you about." Helene's eyes widened slightly. "He said he thought it might be important."

She nodded and replied seriously, "I'll meet him on – I take it he's on the walls?" A nod in answer. "I'll go find him then. And by the way, Jude wants to call a meeting t'night."

"I'll tell Serena."

"Yeah." Helene looked up impishly and smirked. "And try and get a word in edgeways this time. You _and _Kieron."

Lucian snorted. "Like that's gonna happen." Serena was famous for browbeating the males in her family and never letting them speak at meetings – she always talked over them.

Smiling, Helene said, "Don't let her walk all over you Lucian. And take care." Then she vanished into the gloom of the archives, leaving her cousin alone in the hall. As he turned to find his way back out through the maze of bookshelves, he heard something. Something that sounded distinctly like a person creeping around.

"Helene, if you're trying to scare me…" he muttered under his breath, and spun around when the direction the sounds were coming from changed totally with near supernatural speed. Then whoever was there started to sing. It was a female voice, hauntingly fragile and beautifully ethereal.

"_In the light of the last stars love's embrace is felt _

_With diamond tears on the face of the night_

_Where belladonna roses climb around my skin_

_A last night of beauty, a last night of life_

_Snow begins to fall and soften my fire and pain_

_Indigo eyes as deep as all time light the way_

_And belladonna scent fills my heart and mind_

_The last night of beauty, the last night of life…_"

The aria finished and Lucian was left breathless. He'd heard Serena and the other Lycan women sing with pleasant enough results, but this was something else entirely. If he had to imagine starlight as a voice, it would be like that voice. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of white cloth and blonde hair and then the singer rounded the corner.

"Oh – "

Lucian whirled around for the second time in as many minutes and found himself facing the loveliest woman he'd ever seen in his life.

Sonja rounded the corner with the last note of her song hanging in the air and to her shock found herself facing the most captivating man she'd ever met.

"I'm sorry I – "

"I didn't – "

In a heartbeat they found themselves each holding the other's shoulder and staring right into each other's eyes. Both stopped dead, hearts fluttering.

The silence could have gone on indefinitely, but Sonja felt she had to say something, _anything _to fill the empty space. "I'm so sorry – I didn't know you were here – I didn't disturb you? – I wouldn't've if I'd – were you looking for – for something? – I could help – I mean if you don't – "

_Why do I always _do _this? Gabble like an overexcited human teenager? I'm so – _

"Shush," Lucian said softly and to stop her anxious stuttering, almost without thinking put a finger to her lips.

Sonja's breath caught as he stopped her flow of nervous chatter. She could feel herself trembling, half with exhilaration, half with a kind of fear. "I'm sorry, " she began again, almost compulsively.

"Just – hush," he whispered. "Don't be so tense … I won't hurt you." He trailed the finger along the line of her lips and drew it down her pointed chin, so lightly it barely touched the creamy skin. She drew breath in a little gasp as he did so and swallowed. Then she began for the third time, slower and less nervously.

"Who _are _you?"

As if in a trance, Lucian stepped closer to her, not breaking eye contact. "I'm Lucian."

"_Lucian_."

"And you," he whispered, as she came further towards him. Why couldn't he catch his breath?

"Sonja," she almost gasped, leaning up to him, her hand drifting slowly up to the nape of his neck.

_Sonja … Sonja … now where do I know that name from? _His brain seemed to have slowed down, and while he tilted his head down toward hers he was still thinking furiously. _Sonja … the daughter of … the third and youngest daughter of – _

Like a lightning bolt it hit him and he jerked back, dropping his hands from her shoulder and neck, breaking out of her gentle grip. A vampire! _I nearly kissed a _vampire! _And not just any vampire! Oh no, the princess Sonja: Viktor and Janine's child! _The truth of it slammed Lucian in the face and he looked at Sonja, taking in everything he'd missed before: the perfect alabaster skin, the beautifully-cut white dress that clung and floated in all the right places, the full lips – no Lycan had lips like that, _the gold pendant around her neck_ – the charm given to the family of an Elder, the gem at the center a different colour for each. The stone on this one was jade, he noted absently.

"Lucian?" Sonja ventured timidly, her blue eyes wide and hurt.

Pale cheeks flaming crimson, he ducked his head in the proper show of humility and said half-choked, "I'm sorry, Milady." When no response was forthcoming, he bowed and added, "I overstepped my place, Milady."

_Are you criminally _insane! _She is a vampire _princess_, for heaven's sake! You nearly kissed her! Her sister broke your sister's jaw for not doing her hair properly, dammit! Goddess knows what she'll do to you…_

"Lucian …?" Sonja's voice was full of hurt and she felt a lump constricting in her throat. _I'm sorry … _She'd realized as she leant in to kiss Lucian that his scent and ragged clothing marked him a Lycan slave. She'd realized just as soon that she really didn't care.

_He did though and I've hurt him so badly. He's afraid of me … Oh Goddess he's actually _afraid _of me. Maybe he hates me. _

Tears prickled in her eyes as she curled her fingers around his chin and tilted it to face her. "Please don't bow your head in front of me," she whispered and almost got it out without her voice breaking.

"Sorry Milady," he muttered, reverting to the subservient manner used by slaves around vampires.

Sonja swallowed hard. "Please … look at me, Lucian." Those black lashes flicked down, then up and she saw the moss-green of his eyes, afraid and perhaps resentful. "Thank you," she murmured and nerved herself. "I'm not … I won't hurt you. Please believe that. And my name is _Sonja, _not _Milady_." She felt a tear slip down her cheek, and steeled herself to continue, "I'm sorry if I've hurt you or offended you or caused you pain. I never meant to harm you. I don't … I don't c-care if you are a Lycan or not," somehow she found they were close together again, "because I – " she leant up to him as he leant down, feeling almost pulled together, "I … I …" _oh, say it Sonja, just _say _it_, "I love you."

As she said it Lucian moved forward and their lips met and they were kissing and all that Sonja could think was, _I love him and it was meant to be. _All Lucian could think was, _I knew this was going to be a weird day, I had that itch in my elbow._

After what seemed like an eternity of heart-stopping sweetness, they broke the kiss. His breath coming in gasps, Lucian looked deeply at Sonja, taking in the expression in her eyes, the gentleness, the vulnerability, the opening up, revealing herself to him. She was beautiful, yes, a sublimely crafted marble statue with perfect features and that soft gold hair, but it was something else in her that attracted him. It was something in her eyes, in her voice, in her sudden awkward movements. Something _reminding_ him…

_She reminds me … of something in me … _

Her hand drifted up to stroke his dark hair, and his own buried itself in her thick blonde hair. He whispered, breathing in her soft scent, "I love you too." His hand found hers and he raised it gently to her lips.

Sonja let out a muffled sigh and he stepped in to her, and she stepped in to him, and her head rested on his chest while his chin settled on her head. And for once, just for a while, they were all alone together in an almost dreamlike world.


	3. A Dream Of A Dream Of Love

_Author's Note: The third chapter of Love & Death is here. It's slightly shorter than the previous two, but if I make my chapters shorter like this the updates will be quicker. If you review, please tell me if you'd like longer chapters that take longer to get there, or vice versa. Thanks to everyone who reviewed – you always make my day go better. Rating for language only. _

_Disclaimer: The only things I own are the original stuff … don't sue me._

**

* * *

(The next day)****  
The Vampire fortress  
****Sonja's chambers**

_Was that a dream?_

The last day had been so confusing, such a disjointed blur, that Sonja wondered if it was real or actually a dream. Certainly she'd felt like she was in a dream – her heart leaping from one depth of feeling to the next, down and down and down, past attraction, past fondness, past attachment, deeper still to … to something more. Something she'd never felt. She couldn't feel it now; it was just a giddy fuzzy wrenching sweetness in her heart, and her mind couldn't put a name or a reason or logic to it. It was like the nicest sort of insanity.

_I said it was love. Is it love? How would I even know? How can I tell whether it was just one thing in my befuddled mind leading to another … because I was so woozy and weird and high?_

Sonja leaned back against the headboard of her bed. That night at a feast, she'd been introduced to a group of vampires who were visiting from Ireland. One of them, tall and dark-haired, named Donovan, was a cousin of the high-ranking Council member Lady Amber. He was handsome and charming and she might have liked him but for the fact she'd overheard her sisters talking about how their parents had hopes the Irish noble would marry one of the sisters.

Winona was engaged to Mathieu – a rising young warrior in the coven – and Ymogen showed no signs of settling down yet, so it didn't take long for their youngest sister to guess that it was she herself whom Viktor and Janine intended to marry Donovan. She'd never thought about getting married yet, though she knew that as she was approaching seventy she would have to consider it soon. But although she'd always been open to the idea of an arranged marriage, now that one seemed possible in her near future she suddenly understood it wasn't right for her.

_I have to be able to choose. I want to love my husband and I want him to love me, as well._

_This would be so much easier if I understood what I _mean _by love._

Consequently, she'd been as cold and discouraging to Donovan as she could be and still be within the realms of courtesy. She could tell her father was irritated and doubtless her mother would be when she heard about it in Russia. Afterwards, early in the morning, by the time she'd planned to be safely in bed asleep for the day, she found herself having an argument with Viktor. He never mentioned any marriage plans but reproached her for not being 'as polite as our guests should expect'. When she'd finally got to bed, she couldn't sleep with agitation.

In this state she'd gone to the archives to find an entertaining poetry book and to sing in privacy to try and get herself calmed down. Even then she felt slightly wild and insane, but she'd met the man … Lucian.

One thing led to another as they do in dreams, and she'd stood there cheek to cheek with him for some immeasurable length of time in a kind of golden dizziness thinking that she knew she loved him. But dreams always fade and leave a remembrance, a fragile cobweb-like fragment of their glories in the back of your mind. Sonja felt that breathtakingly delicate memory of a dream of love and it seemed to her that if she could see it in its entirety, then she would know, she would remember whether that wonderful feverishness was love or not. But the more she struggled to recall, the more she strained to reach that frail little cobweb, the more it blew out of her reach.

_But if I do truly love him, even if I don't care what race he is, others will and those others will almost certainly kill him and probably me also. And if I loved him I would not wish him to be hurt, ever._

At the thought of Lucian hurt or dead a sharp knife's-edge of pain cut through Sonja's chest.

_So. Even if I don't really love him at any rate I don't want him to be hurt … so for his safety I have to keep my distance._

Sonja lifted her head with firm resolve. She wouldn't do anything to put him in danger – not now and not ever.

Just as she was thinking this, her door slammed open and a sort of whirlwind stormed in, ripped open the drapes on her bed and slammed down on the end of it. Sonja blinked twice and saw that it was in fact her sister Ymogen. Her black hair was rumpled, her eyes burning, her colour high, her breath coming in gasps and she was clearly furious.

"What's wrong?" Sonja ventured gingerly but her sister cut her off.

"It's just never enough for you, is it?" she hissed ferociously.

"What – "

Ymogen tossed her head like an affronted wild horse. "You sit there, all prim and pretty and you ask what the hell you've done? Oh, you can ask! You well can ask can't you, sister?" Sonja was completely baffled. "Oh no, because it's never enough for you, is it you little bitch, you – "

"Ymmy!" As Sonja stared with her mouth slightly open, their mutual friend Paige darted in. "Ymmy what on earth's the _matter _with you?"

The furious vampiress snarled, "You're just never satisfied, are you? It ought to have been enough that you get all the love in the world without playing the innocent but no, no, _no_. You can sit there and you can ask me what you did to me – "

"Ymogen, for Goddess' sake – "

"_You know fucking well what you've done!" _Her sister almost shrieked it and spun abruptly away and off the bed, ducked past Paige and slammed the door shut as she left.

Both Paige and Sonja gaped. Sonja had the unsettling impression that there had been tears in her sister's indigo eyes as she left. She had to be extremely upset before she cried, so whatever the reason for her inexplicable anger it must have been serious.

"Do you have any idea what _that _was about, Paige?" Sonja demanded.

"Not the faintest. And I don't suppose you … " She shook her head emphatically and Paige rubbed her brown eyes. "You haven't been arguing with her a lot or anything … " Again, an emphatic headshake.

A thought struck Sonja. "Paige, Ymmy never mentioned anything to you about … _loving _someone, did she?" The other looked instantly uncomfortable. "Tell me, Paige." Sonja's voice was strained.

Refusing to look at her friend, Paige said, "Can you imagine _Ymogen _in love? She's never cared that much about anyone but I can imagine what it would be like. She'd be scary – no, worse than just scary – she'd be _terrifying. _I don't know what she's on about but you better hope that she hasn't fallen in love."

_

* * *

Dedicated to Shari who is as inexplicable and sometimes evil as Ymogen._


	4. Destiny Bond

_Author's Note: thank you to everyone who reviewed! You people encourage me to keep writing. I wasn't going to write this chapter this way, but after listenting to too many Muse albums my muse got inspired so here we are. The fourth chapter of Love & Death. Please read, review and tell me what I can do better and then I will try and do those things. __  
Iown nothing, I know nothing, I claim nothing.__  
For Hayleigh as ever.  
__Sian_

**

* * *

**

**Meanwhile  
Below the Vampire fortress**

"You heard what Dane thinks – "

"Yeah well, Dane's an idiot."

"Helene agrees with him, I'll have you know."

"That woman's overrated I tell you."

"And what would _you _know about it pray tell?"

"Shuttup … you sound just like a vampire y'know."

"_Excuse me!_ You're gonna pay for that Hunter!"

Lucian was curled up in a ball next to Araiden listening to Serena and Kieron scrapping. Serena had called her mate by his family name – Hunter – which only happened when she got very angry indeed. He almost felt sorry for the sarcastic Lycan. Mind you, he _had_ been very offensive. Comparing her to a vampire was about three steps too far. So it was understandable that the pair were fighting since it was also the way they flirted.

_But must they do it so loudly?_

"Keep it down, will you?" he hissed irritably.

"Shut up, Lucian, and stay out of it." Serena swiped at his ear.

"Only some of us are trying to _sleep_." The fighting stopped for a moment and two pairs of eyes glared at him.

"Go and try and sleep somewhere else then, stupid." Kieron snapped brusquely. Lucian didn't even bother gracing it with a reply. He tuned over and wished powerfully that Satura were still alive. His father's sister, who had raised him as one of her own from birth with Serena and Araiden, had always understood him exceptionally well, and wasted no time in telling her daughter to shut up of a night. But she was dead, along with her mate Nazir – Lucian's mother's brother – and his parents. He had a close-knit pack, with friends regarded as family and everyone closely bonded to each other, but no-one special. Serena had Kieron, Eva had Dean, Morgan had Chase … even Helene was sweet on Jian. He on the other hand seemed to be solitary by nature. It was unnatural – Lycans were not in any sense 'lone wolves'. They lived as a group and companionship was everything.

_But there is no one for me._

Suddenly, unbidden a thought flew through his mind: _Except for Sonja. _As soon as he realized what he was thinking, his heart stopped. Then started up again twice as fast. That notion brought with it a deluge of terrifying images. The Edict, the Covenant, silver-edged whips, Viktor, the sign burnt into his arm, the execution chamber, his death, her death…

Absurd. Absurd and impossible. Lucian regained his calm with an effort of will. There was no way he could allow himself to fall in love with a vampire, for his safety, his family's safety – the safety of everyone involved. Viktor and the Council would not harbor any misgivings about killing his entire family if they thought they were in on it, and there was absolutely nothing that could make Lucian disregard any danger to his loved ones.

It was curious that it was just as he was thinking this that fate – in the form of Winona – came along to give Sonja and him a little nudge in the right direction.

Kieron and Serena fell instantly silent and still as they heard and smelt two vampires walking down the passages. One was female and the other was male. They recognized the scent of the male as a guard and Serena instinctively pulled herself and Araiden into a corner to hide. She wrapped her arms around her brother protectively and turned her face away, while Lucian and Kieron tensed up as if for a fight. Instinct took over and the slaves' reactions were just as fast as their primal ancestors'.

They need not have worried. Winona was not making trouble, she had simply decided to take things into her own hands and get her littlest sister a Lycan manservant. Sonja was never going to get organized and Winona was always organized, so she was going to help her sister out. The guard, Darius, was there to help the vampire princess find a suitable Lycan and because the slaves' quarters were hardly fit for a lady to be walking around on her own in.

"Wake up in there," Darius barked, and pushed through the strips of leather that served as doors for the Lycans. His lantern illuminated most of the tiny room, and he glanced around it swiftly, eyes settling on Lucian. "I'll get him out there for you, my Lady. No need for you to see this," he called over his shoulder. The two male Lycans exchanged wary glances. What were the vampires up to now? "You," the guard snapped at Lucian," Fitzhart, get out here now. The rest of you, stay there and stay shut up." Uneasily Lucian looked at his sister's mate, who frowned uncertainly.

"Better do what he says, brother," Kieron whispered.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" the guard said impatiently. Sighing, Lucian stood and stepped outside. _Oh Goddess, what have I done now?_

In the passageway he noticed that one of the wall torches had been lit, the fire casting a sinister light. A tall and willowy vampiress stood near it. Her shawl was gathered around her fine blonde hair and she lifted the hem of her dark blue dress slightly off the floor, as if afraid her less-than-luxurious surroundings would dirty her. She and her guard turned to look at him and Lucian swiftly bowed his head. He noticed she wore a gold pendant and surmised she was Lady Winona. "Milady," he murmured and studied the floor.

"Your name?" Winona asked archly.

"Lucian Fitzhart, Milady," he responded blankly. So this was the woman who broke Serena's jaw. She certainly acted like an aristocrat.

"Hm. He's a good worker?" This was directed at Darius, who said,

"Yes, he is, my Lady. He's a good one, this, as much as any of them are. Keeps his head down."

"Hm." Winona considered. The dog was sturdily built and seemed as polite as slaves ever were. No scars that she could see either. That meant no whippings, which meant a well-behaved individual. "Have you ever done any personal work? As a personal servant?"

"No Milady," Lucian replied. Where on _earth _was this going?

"You will serve my sister Sonja as a personal manservant. You are to wait on her, follow her orders exactly, and if she wishes, you will sleep in a slave's room attached to her chambers. Understand me?"

_Oh my Goddess. _"Yes Milady."

"You will begin as soon as you are sent for. Darius put out that torch and come with me." Without a backward glance Winona swept off.

The guard gave Lucian a cold glare. "You, get back in there now." He didn't need to be told twice. Lucian practically dived back into the family's room. His mind was reeling.

Serena looked confused and concerned. "Oh, what have you got yourself into now?" Obviously his family had not heard the developments outside.

He stared helplessly, breathlessly at his adoptive sister. _How can I _begin _to describe the trouble I'm in?_


	5. Pathways Merge

_Here is the next chapter of Love & Death. Sorry about the wait, I'm having Internet problems, again. Thanks to my reviewers, you make my day! Please read, review and enjoy!_

**

* * *

(The next day)  
****The Vampire fortress  
****Sonja's chambers**

"Excuse me, you did _what_?" Sonja gaped at her sister.

"Organized you a manservant," Winona said calmly and expertly pulled a strand of hair out of her up do on each side so her face was framed with thin tendrils of blonde hair.

"Without asking me?"

The older vampiress cast her sister a cool sideways glance. "I don't know why you're making such a fuss about it, to be honest darling."

Sonja's fists clenched futilely and she retorted, "Well, to start with it's my own business. Not yours, mine. And I like to know _who_ – "

Still supremely unruffled, Winona interrupted mildly, "Oh, but I told you who to start with."

_Yes, and that didn't exactly help, did it? _Sonja fought down a powerful urge to hit something, squeezed her eyes shut and said through gritted teeth, "Winona, just leave it. Go and talk to Ymmy or something. And next time you want to interfere with my life, _don't._"

"Well really." Winona snatched up her shawl from the bed and flounced out of the room, almost but not quite slamming the door behind her.

Her sister safely out of the room, Sonja buried her head in her hands and groaned. So much for her promise to herself not to endanger Lucian; so much for keeping her distance from him. _That lasted a long time. I don't think. _"Ah, hell, what am I going to do now?" she muttered to herself. Amazing how a really good plan could go flying out the window without you doing a single thing wrong in that plan.

Right. Time to deal. This had gone beyond a joke, but now it was time to pick up the pieces and cope. _First of all – deep breaths_. As her swordsmanship tutor Matthias had taught her, Sonja calmed herself by taking in deep breaths, feeling them go through her body right down to her center of gravity. Then she lifted her chin up and looked straight ahead. A few blonde curls fell over her eyes and she tucked them neatly behind her ears.

_Next. _She could almost feel him standing behind her with calming hands on her shoulders. _What's the situation? _Ignoring the feeling of stupidity that came with it, Sonja continued to talk to herself in her head_. I'm not going to let Lucian be put in danger because of me … because of what happened in the archives. But my interfering … my _sister_ has organized him to be my personal servant._

_Good – now what do we do about it? _Much as she hated to admit it, Winona was probably right. A manservant would help Sonja a lot. So that part of the problem wasn't really the difficulty. The difficulty was, how was she going to keep her distance from Lucian if they were so near each other?

_Just be friends with him – as you are with Roseanna. That wouldn't put him in danger. Just forget about … what you felt in the archives and be friends, like with Roseanna. _

"Of course," Sonja whispered and smacked her forehead with her open palm for not thinking of it sooner. She was perfectly friendly with her maid, so why not with Lucian? Thinking about the dreamlike encounter they'd had two days ago wouldn't help anyone, it could lead down only one path – a path that ended in death. So, she wouldn't think about it and she wouldn't act on it. From now on, it had never happened as far as she was concerned. Now –

"Roseanna?" she called out gently in the direction of her maid's room, which led off from Sonja's bedroom.

"Coming, Sonja Milady." There was a short pause, and then the Lycan maid, who was no older than Sonja, emerged from her room, tying back her dark hair as she did so. She gave a small curtsy and then came to sit beside her mistress on the bed. Sonja had told her early on that she hated formalities and being called 'Milady'.

"Roseanna, do you know a Lycan named … Lucian at all?" Sonja asked after taking more steadying breaths.

The maid thought for a moment, then answered, "Why yes I do, Sonja marm. Yes … why do you ask, if it pleases you?"

With a sigh, Sonja explained how her sister had arranged for her to have a manservant and that she'd chosen Lucian.

"Well marm, your sister couldn't have chosen a nicer man. He's a good one is our Lucian," Roseanna informed her, then blushed and dimpled. Something in Sonja tightened as she realized her friend _liked_ him.

Keeping her voice calm, she asked, "Could you please go and find him for me, Roseanna?"

"Of course I will. He might be asleep though – shall I wake him up if he is?"

"If you would please."

"And bring him up here to you?"

"Thank you, that's very helpful of you."

Roseanna got up and curtseyed. "I'll go right away Sonja." She was just about to leave when a thought struck her. "I had the blue taffeta washed for you. It's in the wardrobe all nicely pressed."

"Thank you," Sonja said with a smile. Her friend dimpled again and then left to find Lucian. Sonja got up and opened the drapes on the bay window in the corner. It was twilight and snowing gently, and a half-moon cast an ethereal silvery light over everything, making the stunning valley look almost magical. She smiled wistfully to herself – she loved winter. It was as if the ice and snow made everything delicate and fragile, and she adored running and dancing through the forest when it was silent and silvery-white. She knew that for humans winter was a difficult season but vampires didn't feel the cold and so for her it was simply a time of beauty.

Presently there was a tap on her door, which jerked her out of her reverie. She spun around, smoothed her skirt and called gently, "Come in." The door opened and she saw it was her maid, accompanied by Lucian. She swallowed and tried to compose herself. She had forgotten how striking he looked.

_Although right now he looks like he needs sleep. _She noted the shadows under his eyes, the drawn look of his face. "I hope I didn't wake you up?"

Lucian glanced at Roseanna, and said slowly, "No, Milady."

"Please call me Sonja." Had he forgotten what she said in the archives? Or perhaps was he, like her, _trying_ to forget? "I think … I think I owe you an apology."

At that his eyebrows shot up and he looked swiftly at her maid, who shook her head almost imperceptibly. "An … apology?" he asked suspiciously. Obviously he had no idea what she was on about. Which made it terribly awkward for Sonja.

_Now how do I say this politely? _Blazes to it, she was sick of tiptoeing round her sisters. "My … er, my sister Winona told you that you were to … serve me," she began, and he nodded. "Well … I didn't … that is, she did it without telling me. It wasn't my idea and I … she didn't ask permission which I would …" She hesitated, not knowing quite how to phrase this.

"What I mean to say is, I'm sorry she took it upon herself to do that, and if you have any objection to what she … told you to do, you can say so and you won't have to." Another pause. Lucian looked slightly confused, and she clarified, "Do what she said you'd be doing."

Slowly, as if approaching a dangerous animal that might attack at any moment, Lucian said, "You are asking me if I mind serving you? Milady?" he added quickly, than just as quickly corrected, "Sonja."

"Yes. That's exactly what I was trying to say." She smiled shyly at her awkward stuttering, meeting those fresh green eyes as she did so. He slowly smiled back, and her heart fluttered again.

"I don't mind at all thank you," he said softly. There was something in his eyes as he said it that made Sonja almost tremble – without the slightest idea why.

_

* * *

Dedicated to Barry, and Nassim._


	6. The Riddle Of The Heart

_Here is the sixth chapter of Love & Death; sorry it's taken a while to write but I've been ill and also had a bit of writer's block (fortunately not fatal) but better late than never! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, remember I own nothing, I claim nothing and I know nothing, and please r&r but be kind! _

**

* * *

(Three weeks later)  
****The Vampire fortress  
****Sonja's chambers**

"In a marble hall as white as milk, lined with a skin as soft as silk, within a fountain crystal clear, a golden apple doth appear. No doors are there to this stronghold, yet thieves break in to steal the gold."

"Oh, easy. That's an egg."

"So it is. Your turn. A _hard_ one this time!"

"Hmm. All right, here's one. She ate everything that came, and everything that will: and still she'll never get her fill."

"Well … that's time, isn't it?"

"On the right lines, but it's death."

"Death? Oh yes, I see."

Sonja and Lucian sat together at the bay window in her rooms, playing the oldest game. Riddles were never new but the way of telling them was, and there were enough differences in Lycan and vampire styles to make the game interesting.

"Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man's father was _my_ father's son. Who is it?"

At the look of bemusement on Lucian's face, Sonja giggled. "I've got you!"

"Go over it again. He has no brothers or sisters but –"

"This man – " Sonja waved her hand to indicate an imaginary figure beside her - "is his father's son."

Lucian snorted. "But that's impossible."

"It's yourself!" she crowed triumphantly. "I beat you!"

Three weeks had passed since Lucian was made Sonja's manservant, and the two had become fast friends. Neither of them had mentioned what had happened in the archives. They avoided the dreamlike incident resolutely, and if it ever made things awkward, there were opportunities aplenty to move onto a brand new topic of conversation.

It was nearly three in the morning, and a beautiful night. They'd sat at the bay window with the intention of Sonja pointing out constellations and specific stars and their classical names, and swapping legends about how the stars came to be there. Somehow, it had descended into riddling.

"That's not fair," Lucian protested.

"How is it?" Sonja folded her arms and raised her eyebrows in mock severity

"I don't know …" he trailed off, then pointed out the window and yelled in surprise, "Look! Shooting stars!"

"Where?" Sonja turned, following his finger, but the angle she was sitting at meant she couldn't see it.

"Over here," Lucian said, "Quick, or you'll miss it!"

Without thinking she scooted across the seat into the corner, so that she was practically sitting on his lap. She gasped as she saw the brilliant silvery white trails of the last few comets tracing their graceful arcs across the dark sky. "They're so beautiful …"

With her sitting on him like that, there was no way Lucian could think up an appropriate response. She was far too distracting. He could smell the soft scent of her skin and feel the silk of her hair brushing against his nose. Holy Goddess, he could actually hear the thud of her pulse, her heartbeat. All it would take was a little move, bringing his hands forward from the awkward angle he held them at so they didn't touch her, just lean his head down and …

_And I might as well sign my death warrant, _he thought viciously. This was a path of thought that he would _not_ go down. For everyone's sake, not just his.

And then Sonja turned round, twisting sinuously to face him, her face alive and her eyes dancing with light. She was so very beautiful. She lifted her hands to link them at the back of his neck, laughing, smiling, dancing on air. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life!" With that she wrapped her arms around him properly and hugged him, exuberant and thrilled by what she had seen.

Lucian thought his heart might stop right then and there. She was close – so very close to him that he could feel her warmth all down the length of him. Her hair was pressed like a golden cloud against his face, rippling with every breath he took. Awkwardly, his hands rose to rest on her back. A small sound, like a murmur, came from her, vibrating down his shoulder.

Tentatively Sonja shifted in his hands so that her head rested against his chest and her arms folded around his waist. She wriggled a little more, then settled, and Lucian worked on breathing normally and not hyperventilating. He thought that maybe he could feel her trembling next to him, or perhaps it was just his own fevered shaking that gave him the impression.

This was, without question, the stupidest, craziest, most willfully _suicidal _thing he had ever done. He was, in full control of his actions and senses, sitting curled in some kind of embrace with a vampire princess. It was so phenomenally idiotic that he couldn't even begin to think about what must be wrong with him that was stopping him getting out of the whole scenario, except that …

Except that he kind of _liked _it. It felt good, comfortable and _right, _and she was so gorgeous and was so gentle and …

As his sister would say, _You, my boy, are beyond saving._

There could be only one outcome to this and it didn't bear thinking about. And so, when Sonja turned her face up to his so that their noses brushed tip-to-tip and there was only an inch of breath-scented air between their lips, and her dark lashes swept down so he couldn't see her eyes, he let go of her and pushed himself up, off the window seat, and from under her.

Lucian stood up, even though everything in him was screaming for him to go back down to her, and looked down at the polished wooden floor so that he wouldn't have to see the hurt and confusion in her face. "I'm sorry," he said hurriedly, feeling blood rush to his cheeks. "I have to go," he added, desperate, and then, ignoring her soft calls after him, he fled.

_For Kay V., with whom I did so much that I shouldn't have and so little that I should've._


	7. Thicker Than Water I

_Here's the next chapter of Love & Death, I'm SO sorry it's taken so long, and it's only a little one, but once again I've been extremely busy, so … all apologies, hope it's good enough. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, I claim nothing, I know nothing. Alright?_

_Dedicated to: all my family, Hayleigh, Emily, Nassim and Léna – blood is thicker…_

_Areie_

**

* * *

Later**

**Below the Vampire fortress**

Having finished telling his family the trouble he was in, Lucian sat curled in a corner of their room and waited for the inevitable storm to break.

He'd told his sister and Kieron everything while Araiden watched, big-eyed with fear and wonder. It might seem strange, foolhardy even, that he should be so open but Lycans were at their heart, pack animals. Family was of the utmost importance. Lucian could no more have kept it a secret from Serena and Kieron and the rest than he could have killed himself by holding his breath. His upbringing and his very nature screamed against it.

If he couldn't trust his family, then he couldn't trust anyone.

Serena was silent. It unsettled Lucian – quietness wasn't in his sister's nature. It was Kieron who spoke first. "You're telling us the truth, now? The Goddess's honest truth? All of it?" Spoken with urgency, but not anger or savageness.

"_Yes_," Lucian muttered tensely. He wished someone would _say_ something, dammit.

Kieron exchanged a look with Serena. "You're in trouble," he said.

"I know that! I don't need you to state the blindingly obvious thank you very much!" Stretched to breaking point, Lucian's nerves finally snapped as he snarled at his sister's mate.

Kieron glared and might have retorted had Serena not interrupted them. She looked down from the ceiling she'd been staring at to hold Lucian's gaze with green eyes, so like his own, that he was startled to see were wet. "Stop," she said simply, and they fell quiet. "A vampire," she said, voice echoing so that those two syllables sounded like an unavoidable accusation. "You are really in love with … one of them."

He tried to look her in the eye and couldn't. Looking away he said through a tight throat, "Yes. I can't help it."

"It's death."

"I _know_."

He half expected her to rage, scream and shout at him, call him a traitor. But no: in a trembling voice that was almost breaking, Serena said, "Oh Goddess, no, I've lost too many of my family…" She covered her face with her hands and made a little gasping sound that broke his heart.

Kieron put an arm round her, and Lucian shifted over to wrap his own around her from the other side. Araiden sat close by, helpless but leaning in with tender concern.

"You're not going to lose him," Kieron told her in a tone somewhere between gentle and long-suffering. "He's not going to get killed … or if he is," he glared at Lucian, " I will follow him into the next world and kill him. Again. All right?"

A soft chuckle, then Serena sat up, rubbed her face and turned to Lucian. "You really, truly love her?"

He nodded silently.

"And there's nothing you can do about it?"

"No," he said, almost choking on the confession of weakness, putting them all in danger.

She waited for him to recover himself and look back at her, and then gently took his hand in hers. "Lucian. You're my brother, my little brother. I love you, Goddess help me, I do. We're family, and family stick together no matter what, all right? And if you do love … Sonja, then we're behind you. All right?"

Unable to say anything to communicate the love, pride and gratitude choking him, Lucian gripped her hand tight, and nodded and smiled.

They were with him. He wasn't alone in this, he had his family standing with him … it was the very meaning of the word _strength_, to be supported and helped by your flesh and blood.

"What about the others, though?" Kieron said with a hint of doubt tainting his words. "I mean … I'm not sure …"

Lucian and Serena looked at each other for a moment, silently conferring, then she said to her mate, "You know what? We ought to talk to Jude."


	8. Word To The Wise

_Here is – finally – the next chapter of Love & Death. I can only apologise for not posting so often but I am very busy and very sorry! Anyway read, review and enjoy as always. Thanks SO much for all the reviews you don't know how much they cheer me up!_

_Disclaimer: as always I know nothing, I own nothing, I claim nothing_

_Dedication: for Robbie, my one constant_

_Areie_

**

* * *

Later  
****The Vampire fortress  
****The stables**

Jude was the Lycans' respected, if aged, pack leader. Smallish by their standards and somewhat stooped, he cut an unintimidating presence with his snow white hair and milky left eye. He was old enough to remember the days before the vampires tricked the Lycan Old King and their people were taken into servitude, and had himself known the ancient sovereign. It might have been puzzling as to why the vampires kept him on, but there was no more skilled metalworker or horse-handler than Jude though he was blind in one eye.

When Lucian, Serena and Kieron came looking for him, Jude was gently brushing the coat of a gorgeous dappled grey in the stables, crooning softly in it's ear.

"Come in quiet like, you three," he murmured as Kieron cracked the castle-side door open. "She's skittish, aren't you, my beaut?"

The trio padded in as silently as they could. Kieron sat down on a bale of hay, while Serena and Lucian leant on a loosebox door facing Jude over the horse's back. To Serena the old Lycan said, "Would you like to help groom Valley Rose, my dear? Horses always did like your healer's touch, didn't you, Rose?" She nodded, and was told, "There's a brush in that there box."

For a moment no one said anything, and Jude continued peaceably brushing the mare down. Then he said amiably, "I doubt you all came down here just to do my job for me, though I won't argue if you do. What's brought you here?"

A glance passed between them and then Kieron said, "It's about Lucian you see Jude."

"That so? What about him?" He smiled at Lucian. There was a hint of concern in the smile.

A collective drawing of breath. Serena's hands stilled on the horse's flank. Into the tension Kieron spoke. "It's like this …"

Jude listened attentively, making no comment or interruption until the story wound to a halt. Even then he made no remark at first, but lead the mare back to her loosebox. "Sonja? Lady Sonja the youngest of Viktor and Janine's daughters?"

Lucian wet his lips. "The very same."

"Hm." As he walked back out into the main stables to sit down on a bench, the pack leader's one sighted hazel eye was intent and focused. "Let me be clear: this is a strange and dangerous business. I've not heard the like since our King sat enthroned in the mountains. Even then it was hard – now it's damn near impossible. But of that lot in this castle Sonja's the best. Goddess knows who between that amoral slut Janine and _him_, who calls himself Lord Viktor, but someone's raised her right. She's respectful like. Always got a polite tongue in her head. And of that lot, she's the only one as brings her own horse in and waters him herself. Of all of them Sonja's the only one I'd give a damn for." Seeming to come to a conclusion, he nodded and lapsed again into silence.

Serena said, "What we were worried about was the rest of the pack." To anyone but her family her voice would have sounded normal, but Lucian could hear the strain running through it like cracks.

"Lycans stand together," Jude replied instantly, almost absently, as if this should be obvious.

Looking at his feet, Kieron said, "Some of them might not see it that way."

At that Jude sat up instantly. Both his eyes, even the blind white one, seemed to blaze as he said with ferocity, "What, they're going to turn their backs on Trent and Isse's son just because of who he loves? If they do they'll have me to answer to and I'll see as they'll be crying they're so shamed of themselves. You think I'll live to see the day any of my pack turned on? We've more loyalty than that, or we ought to. No they'll accept it."

Serena gripped Lucian's hand, though he thought she needed comfort more than he. "Thank you," he said to Jude softly. Confidence was growing in him now along with the strength that came from knowing he was not alone.

"Don't mention it. You didn't leave Araiden on his own did you? That pup could get into trouble asleep."

"No. He's with Morven and Falkner and them."

"Good." Jude nodded, thinking to himself. After a moment he said to Serena and Kieron, "Would you pair go back to him? I'd like to talk to Lucian alone."

The two glanced at each other and then Serena nodded. "All right. Try to keep out of trouble on your way back," she added wryly to her cousin, but there was an edge to her voice and a shine to her eyes that tugged at Lucian's heart. She squeezed his hand before letting go to leave the stables with Kieron, who nodded respectfully at Jude as they left.

Lucian looked across at the aged Lycan trying to size up what he was going to say but any inquiries were forestalled as the pack leader said, "Go check the passage for guards would you, lad? My ears aren't what they were and we can't take chances."

Doing as he was bid Lucian opened the door to the passage leading from the vampire parts of the castle to the stables, and glanced up the passageway. "All clear," he said and returned to sit on the bale of hay Kieron had vacated, to wait for Jude to get around to saying what he had to say.

It wasn't a very long wait. Presently, he emerged from his thoughts and said, "You'll go on with this affair won't you lad?"

The question startled Lucian. He had deliberately avoided asking himself that question because of where it would lead, but now that it had been posed he knew that that was what he had wanted ever since he'd met her: Sonja in his arms … in his bed. "I don't know," he said honestly.

"Hm. Well, I can't say I was expecting this but I've always expected something important like from you, Lucian." Jude glanced up at him then stared into a middle distance. "There's been something … special about you since you was born. Trent Fitzhart's son, the last of that line of kings, and you looking so like your forefather Rhuaidhri … " Seeing the look on Lucian's face, Jude's lined face creased into a grin. "No one told you that afore? Aye, your father and your aunt Satura might be far far down the family tree from him, but you're the spitting image of Old King Rhuaidhri when he was your age. Not that anyone but me remembers now but still. Your family's not rulers anymore but there's always been a streak of leadership and determination a mile wide in them."

This was undoubtedly interesting, as Lucian had never been told he resembled his family's ancient ancestor before, but he couldn't see what this had to do with his situation.

Jude went on, "What I'm saying is that I think if anyone can carry this off it'll be you. But here's my best advice: be damned careful. Kieron and me will tell the rest – we'll swing it for you so the whole pack'll be in on it. And we look after our own, so that'll be no hindrance. You talk to the lady, make sure she's careful as can be, and _watch out for Ymogen_." Here he leant forward and his sighted eye flared. "She's a cold one, calculating as can be and ruthless. She's got the worst of her father and the worst of her mother in her and Goddess only knows how she hates her little sister."

"What?" Lucian stared. "How do you know _that?_"

A mysterious smile crept over Jude's face. "Oh, I hear things here and there … anyway, you keep your eye on that Ymogen." There was a note of finality in his voice and Lucian got up.

"Thank you, Jude. I'll be seeing you, I suppose."

"Don't mention it. Oh, and Lucian?"

At the door, Lucian halted and turned. "Yes?"

Jude gazed at him evenly. "I don't mean to scare you but at some point someone is going to discover this. You need to start thinking of what to do." Then he smiled broadly. "Anyway, goodbye, and I wish you pair best luck!"

Silently, as he nodded and shut the door, Lucian added, _we are going to need it._


End file.
